If you’re going to text a girl to ask her out, you’re almost always better off calling instead. Calling makes you sound less passive and more assertive, and it’s harder for her to deflect or blow you off when she actually hears your voice. When you’ve got her on the line, smile as you talk so your tone comes across as upbeat, confident, and just a little bit cocky.

Even if you’re not grinning like an idiot, keeping a relaxed, confident look on your face will be heavily telegraphed through your voice. Smile and your brain assumes you’re happy, so you naturally sound more energetic and outgoing. Lean back, slow your speech, cut out filler words, and drop your voice a bit lower. Follow those basics and you immediately separate yourself from every nervous, mumbling beta.

On the phone you can’t rely on mysterious silence the way you can in person, because dead air just sounds like confusion. When she starts probing or shit testing, you reframe by changing the subject with your own question and keep control of the frame. Don’t ask when she’s free; assume it. Tell her, “Listen, I’m going to Charley’s on Friday, meet me there at nine,” and hold that line like a man who expects to be followed.

Business calls are different, but the backbone is the same: your voice has to sell that you know exactly what you’re doing. You smile so you don’t sound frustrated, but you talk a notch or two faster to signal you say this kind of thing all the time. Keep your tone flat, low, and busy, like a straight shooter moving from one appointment to the next. With practice these habits become automatic so you hit your goals on the phone without even thinking about it.